his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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