apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
