You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
