you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
You can't just leave with hair like that
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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