he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Couch. On fire.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
