If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i love accidental penises.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
