It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
