he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
