I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
