So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
