You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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