i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
