It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
