Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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