youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
