I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
