Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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