break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
