fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
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