I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Randomize
