I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
