At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I smell stomach acid.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
