No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
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