Non-Jews are for practice
hell yes lets make some ravioli
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
