I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
