STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
