He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You're like the curious george of whores
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
