Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
