those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
