You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
