SEEEEXXX PLEASE
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
