I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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