can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
