I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
