Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
