so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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