OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
