He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
