Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
