All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
