There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
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