Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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