i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize