You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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