Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
