I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
