I'm so fucking centered right now
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
