also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
