i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize