my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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